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[ Exactly what you said before I showed up here.

That wasn't an accident, not at all. Peter said he'd seen Hiro on the train a year ago, which meant that, well, he was probably from after that fiasco with Adam. They'd stood in the corridor outside the vault and Nathan had told him that Adam was using him to get to Peter. They'd lived through that, but if he'd been a moment too late...

If he'd been a moment too late, they'd both be dead, and so would 7 billion other people. Peter had been to that future.

Nathan squeezed him a little tighter, then gradually released the pressure, leaning back so that he could look his brother in the face. ]

You're not going to believe me, but I'm from your future, Pete. Six months, or thereabouts. A lot happened since we last saw each others, things I'll get round to telling you, but right now, you gotta have questions. Other questions.

[ It's not that Peter would've wanted Nathan to keep up with the hugging - there's always a certain point where it just needs to fade away - but at least it kept the conversation from heading back into the territory of things Peter didn't want to discuss. He was already getting a headache of massive proportions and was busy enough struggling with the concept of space. Amnesia and time travel and losing himself only added to that mix in a way he didn't want to face.

To top it all off, Adam was still a constant, deeply rooted sensation and when Nathan pulled back to look at him, Peter could only stand it for so long before he looked back at Izzie. She didn't expect anything from him; wasn't looking for him to be anyone he didn't know how to be, or for apologies he didn't know how to give. He could look at her without pathetically falling apart.

He didn't need to be pathetic to top the day off. Move on, get over it; it didn't happen. But that was only part of it. ]

Like what, why the hell we're in space? Why you think i'm from the future, why I ended up with amnesia all over again? Why I had to be the one that Adam used? [ He looked back to his brother miserably, wanting to hit the pause button. To just make it all stop. ] Don't tell me that they're questions you've actually got answers to. And you know what, I think i've lost track of anything I wanted to ask. They're all... blurred together and I just- I don't understand what's happening. But that's nothing new anymore.

I was left in the dark for months. [ He wasn't upset with Nathan, not at all. He was just.. upset. Frustrated that this was where he'd ended up. Pulling his coffee mug closer, at least it was still pleasantly warm, and instead of distraught, Peter tries for sardonic. ] If I could handle Ireland, then I can cope with space.

[ Okay, so it was a lot more questions than he really expected from Peter at once. He knew he'd have them, but the number caught Nathan off guard, and he pulled his chair a little closer so that he could edge aside into the seat without actually letting Peter go. His hand stayed on his brother's side, just under his arm, the other dropping to Peter's knee.

Beside them, Izzie lay down, clearly bored with their reunion already, but knowing full well she couldn't get between the two brothers when they were talking like this. She'd learned that early; as cute as she could be - and she could be cute, especially back when she'd been a pup - she didn't stand a chance when Peter's attention was on Nathan, and Nathan was giving affection and attention right back. ]

Ireland is rough, but it's nothing like space, Pete.

[ Surely that much was obvious? Nathan had been put under a lot of pressure before, but nothing had been able to prepare him for what he'd gone through up here. He'd probably never explain most of it to Peter. There wasn't much of a point in even telling him about their father, but... Well, he'd see where it went. He'd say what he needed to when he needed to. Right now, he just had to make Peter comfortable. ]

Drink up that coffee. It'll take the last of the edge off from the Jump. Best thing for it.

I was joking, Nathan.

[ There's a blatant undercurrent of 'duh' under his comment. But Nathan didn't really get it. Or at least Peter didn't think he got it, he hadn't had a chance yet to tell Nathan about what it was like to wake up in a cargo carrier and not even know your name. To be tied to a chair and beaten until you could provide answers when you knew nothing about who you were. To see a future where nearly everyone was dead.

But maybe some other version of himself had told Nathan. Fuck. There was no end to how confusing this was and Peter wanted to drill Nathan with questions just as badly as he didn't want to say a word. Just like how he wanted to rant to Nathan about Adam until he'd lost his voice, but was the point of even talking about it? Nathan wouldn't get. Nathan never even understand why Peter needed him so badly, why the hell would he understand everything that happened with Adam.

So he had to just... get over it.

Yeah, right. Sighing hard, Peter did as he was told, though he wanted to believe that drinking it hadn't been a command from Nathan. He drank it because he wanted to, nudging the mug back onto the table where he only fussed with the handle. ]

It's not amnesia, Nathan. I can fix amnesia - or whatever it is the Haitian does - did I ever tell you that? Do I? [ Peter looks over his shoulder at Nathan, edging towards the end of his proverbial rope. None of this made sense, but he'd go along with it just because he could. So Nathan was from the future, fine, but what that actually meant, Peter didn't know. And he didn't know if it even mattered.] So if I can't fix this, then what the hell happened?

[ When Peter started to explain that he could fix amnesia, and that if it was anything else then he should be able to fix it, Nathan began to cotton on to the underlying problem. Peter was struggling with all of this at once, yes, but more importantly it was the distress of waking up, not knowing where you are and being told that some future version of yourself had done something. Not knowing what you'd said or done and being confronted with it piecemeal, judged for it, was the worst thing that Nathan had ever personally experienced, and he understood how hard it was.

He lifted his hand from Peter's knee and curled it gently around his hand on the coffee cup, meeting his eyes. ]

You are who you are right now. You don't have to fix it, or know all the details about the future. You can just be who you are now and that's good enough, Pete. It's all anyone could ever want from you.

[ Nathan's hand went to Peter's jaw, firm, edging his chin up so that he stopped looking so much like he was sulking and introspective. ]

You're probably struggling enough with what you just went through to face anything else right now, so that's where we're gonna start, alright? I'm you're big brother first.

You got that?

Yeah, I get that.

[ Peter could replace sullen with stern far more easily now. Maybe it had taken Ireland and amnesia to turn him into the kind of man that he was supposed to be from the very beginning. A Petrelli that could hold his head high and make decisions for himself; the ones that started and ended with only himself, fuck everyone else. He didn't know who he was but it didn't matter there, because he told himself there wasn't anything to go back to. No other life until he was confronted with it. Until mistakes became his fault.

Except it had all fallen apart with Adam. Adam took it all away because he need Peter to follow, because he needed Peter to--

He couldn't think about this right now. Wasn't there something else he could face? Something else he could deal with until he could just forget that Adam had ever once mattered? And something else that wasn't the fact that he'd made choices that weren't his but were still him? Peter didn't want to start where he'd left off because that meant confronting it, and he wasn't about to do anything but silently let the guilt stack up. He'd almost killed everyone. He didn't get to feel better about that.

Trying to rip his jaw from Nathan's grasp would've just been an exercise in petulance and instead Peter turned to Nathan, still trying to avoid talking about where his life had actually left off. ]

But can I ask you something first? Last question, because I'm not sure if I even want anymore answers after this. [ The look he gave Nathan was one of utter severity -- 'you better not lie to me about this. But it was bound to end up sounding desperate, no matter what. ] Sylar's not our brother too, right? He's not actually related to us, Nathan, tell me there's no possible way.

[ Nathan didn't know where the conversation would go from there. Maybe they'd discuss how Izzie ended up coming back to life again. It seemed like a reasonable enough question. Even Nathan wasn't sure about it. Izzie was dead. She was his greatest concern when it came to time travel, and when put next to the people dragged out of the future and the past and the strange things that turned up in people's lockers--Nathan owned paintings which had been destroyed in his own time. Izzie was nothing compared to that.

He dropped his hand away, with the trust that Peter would keep his face turned up still. His own hands dropped down into his lap, and he waited for Peter's question when he started to frame it. Can I ask you something first? Peter asked, and Nathan felt his stomach drop to the floor. What was it going to be? Is it true you wanted to open camps for specials? Is it true you had me drugged and stuffed on a plane? Did dad really steal my powers?

The question Peter came up with was little better. Nathan frowned at him. Where had he heard that? ]

It's...complicated. [ Damn it, that wasn't the answer he was supposed to give, and Nathan shook his head. It wasn't reassuring at all. ]

He's not our brother, I promise you that. There's no possible way. But--but our parents tried to make it seem like he was. Ma treated him like he was her pet serial killer or something. I know it sounds crazy. [ Nathan sighed. ] I'll explain all of it to you some time, but I promise you he's not our brother. I promise, alright?

[ I promise you.

He could almost hear Adam say it, poisoning everything anyone else had to offer. It was as if he hung on every single word out of anyone's mouth. As if he was seated neatly behind Nathan, glancing over his shoulder, smiling gently, seconds away from squeezing the life out of his big brother's words until there was nothing left but Adam to fill in the spaces. Adam was just there beyond Peter's reach, and it took a moment for him to blink.

And then blink again.

And then Adam was gone; only Nathan was left. Nathan, the one that had been right. That hadn't been lying. That had kept Peter from killing Hiro and killing everyone else at the exact same time. Nathan had told him to listen, and so Peter was listening. Even though 'it's complicated' wasn't even remotely the right thing to say. It's complicated? How the hell was it complicated? It was a yes or no question, there wasn't anything complicated about itO. But at least the answer Nathan finally gave was resounding and gave little wiggle room. Even though there was probably a million explanations in that single one - their mother tried to use Sylar? - Peter finally shook his head, turning back to his mug of coffee, wondering if putting his fist through a wall would help. ]

Okay. Okay.

[ ... 'so, space, huh?' But Peter wasn't really in the mood for jokes, looking up and skimming his gaze around the room. ] Everyone's just acting like this is normal. [ He looked back at Nathan, almost blandly, trying to not feel so ill. ] Tell me you're not running for office here, at least.

[ Honestly, Nathan was relieved that Peter didn't pick up on the plural of parent. The longer he believed Arthur was dead, the longer he could put off having that particular bit of conversation, though it was obviously happen eventually. Nathan would tell him a lot of things eventually.

He poured them both another cup full of coffee and stirred in some sugar, watching what he was doing as though it could find a way for him to not talk about any of it for a little longer. At last, though, he was pushing his cup back toward Peter again, resolutely meeting his eyes once more, though not for long at a time. ]

I'm not running for anything now, but I run one of the departments on board, and I look after the ship's chapel.

[ Peter would find the second part weirder, with no shooting and angel conversation to fall back on as evidence for Nathan's sudden epiphany, the revisit to a faith that had just been Sunday visits with his family all dressed up, politics and religion playing their respective roles. ]

Though is we ever end up setting up a government, or landing on some planet somewhere, I'm as likely as any to be volunteered for the job.

Guess some things don't really ever change.

[ Peter didn't know if it was a comfort or if he was trying to make fun, but maybe it didn't matter. Maybe Nathan being a figure amongst their... population was something he just didn't find all that shocking, and that unto itself was a constant he could pretend he relied on. It was so entirely Nathan, that Peter had to think that at least that much hadn't changed. Even if he found out that everything about Nathan was a lie just like everything about Adam had been, then there was still something to hold on to.

God, when he turned into such a pessimist?

Tugging his cofffee mug back towards him, Peter shook his head slowly. He didn't have enough to, distrungled, run his fingers back through. It took away something for him to fidget with and forced him to learn how to stuff his hands into his pockets, therefore holding his shoulders higher. It was stupid, but so much had been taken away from him, that he wanted his damn hair back.

Taking another sip of coffee while he thought, unconsciously avoiding eye-contact simply because he didn't feel like being outright coddled, Peter only looked back over at Nathan once he'd thought through his brother's words over again. ]

You seriously run a chapel here? [ Not that Peter thought religion was a joke, but when had any of them ever really believed? It was an image to uphold, despite the fact that Peter took bits and pieces of it to heart. ] What, were you converted when Izzie came back from the dead?

[ Nathan looked up at Peter again as he sipped his own coffee, thinking about it to himself as they went along. Yes, it was damned off that he ran the chapel, but the way those things had come about, the mental place that he'd been at at the time... It had made sense. It wouldn't make any sense to Peter, especially not if he didn't know about Nathan being shot.

He's get to it, but not now. ]

Something like that.

[ He smiled and took another sip, looking around the kitchen again. This wasn't Peter's kitchen. He belonged further down the ship, in one of the better worn rooms. Would his things still be there, he wondered? Peter's things? His clothes? He'd never even been to his room. What if there was something that gave Peter an explanation for something he wasn't ready to be told yet? About the world ending, maybe? It could mess him up. ]

We had people to mourn and nowhere to do it. By the next week we had pews and an altar, and a permanent place down in the gardens, right out there among the flowers. It's been there longer than a lot of things on board.

[ Nathan is proud of it; prouder of the chapel maybe, then he is of Comms. ]

I could show you down there after your coffee. Izzie needs the walk anyway, otherwise she'll mess in the corridors somewhere.

[ Going quiet while Nathan speaks, Peter simply listens, mulling over his cup of coffee as it's giving him the rest of the secrets to the world. It feels as if he's only recently learned the meaning of silence, but he supposes that a year's recent enough when you're nearly thirty. It doesn't matter, though, because he's not blathering away, just trying to fit what little he can together.

It's like having someone mix every puzzle you own together, and then running away with half of the pieces. It just doesn't fit, no matter how much time you waste cramming pieces together hopelessly. Peter's had nowhere near enough time to ruminate yet, but he doesn't know what's next. Where he's supposed to do. And if he's learned anything, he probably shouldn't follow Nathan around simply because it's time to start making his own decisions. But his own decisions led him to Adam -- how many things is he going to screw up before he throws in the towel?

But there were people to mourn and so Nathan found a way to help people mourn. He had to focus on something for the time being, he might as well just go along with it. ]

Yeah, sure.

[ Swirling the last of the coffee around in his mug, Peter stays quiet for a few seconds longer, wondering how many commands from Adam he silently followed. He'll have no connection to this church whatsoever, none-- no connection to anyone here. But he'll go look. Because why not. ] Have you been keeping her in your room? Izzie, I mean. Or... in the gardens. Or did I take her?

[ He nods back towards her, ears perked at the mention of her name. ] Your name's on her collar.

[ If the last thing Peter remembered was Adam, then he needed some guidance. His brother needed help, he just couldn't be cut loose with all this confusion going on and expected to keep his feet underneath him, Nathan knew that. It was like just after he'd come out of the hospital, he wouldn't know what to do with himself.

Nathan sipped down the last of his coffee, then reached for the dog biscuits as Izzie sat back up, eyes bright and ears perked at Peter. He smiled, looking between the two of them. ]

Izzie showed up with my name on her collar, but I think the ship... I think the ship sent her to me so I could help you. You were having a hard time of it, Pete. You didn't trust me, you'd lost... You lost Gabriel - you don't know him, yet, but you cared about him. It's a whole other story, okay? You felt like you were alone, and then there was Izzie, and I finally saw you smile, maybe for the first time since you got here. I only ever saw you smile with her.

So she's your dog. She's always been your dog. I think she just sorta puts up with me, to tell you the truth.

[ He reached out and petted her head gently. ]

She was just what you needed back then. She still is. And talking about what you should do next... Well, I've got a room you can stay in. You can face all the rest of it when you're ready, that way.

[ Knocking back the last of his rapidly cool coffee, Peter was up and out of his seat as soon as Nathan was. Which was almost a mistake, considering Nathan's answer to his question was a hell of a lot more complicated than it should've been. Or at least, more complicated than Peter wanted it to be. This time when he listened, Peter was left to soak it in while standing up, and so his attentions focused solely onto Izzie, flopping her ears about and scratching her like the world depended on it just so he didn't have to deal with it all the way he probably should've been trying to. There were millions of questions to ask, but Peter was still stuck on one -- why did Adam have to use him?

But all the others? Who was Gabriel? Why did Peter lose him, why did he matter? Why didn't he trust Nathan all over again?

What the hell happened and did it even matter?

Glancing back up when Nathan finally seemed done explaining things, his hands went into his pockets even if Izzie stuck right at his side, tail still swishing contently. She might've been staring up at Nathan - the one hold the dog biscuits - but she knew where she stood, and Peter probably would've found it funnier if he wasn't so confused.

All ready for Nathan to lead the way, Peter only hesitated at the offering, eyes going just slightly wider with the look of a little brother being offered the unexpected. ]

You mean I can room with you?

[ Whether Nathan was ever really able to get it straight was debatable. Hopefully he could get away with telling Peter it was a future that wasn't going to happen and they had other things to worry about, but it wasn't going to be something he occupied himself with right now.

They'd have time to talk about all sorts of things. Maybe Nathan would have Peter tell him again about what he'd gone through with Adam, and pretend he hadn't heard most of it before. Maybe Peter'd end up more honest about some of the stuff because of it. You never knew. They'd have most of the night. Nathan knew Peter, he knew this moment, he knew that he didn't know who to turn to and was burning up with energy and didn't know where to burn himself out, and that he damn well wouldn't sleep for hours after they both put their heads down.

Peter had been a pain in the ass that night too, out in the motel in Odessa. It had taken three days to get the right news coverage organised. They'd stepped out there--and that was the last thing Nathan remembered. ]

Of course you can, Pete. Where else are you gonna go?

I don't know, Nathan, my own room?

[ He was an adult after all, even if Adam had managed to delude him into thinking he was anything but. He had started to feel like he wasn't even allowed to dress himself, to think for himself, to make a single move without having it be thought through by Adam first. Every stop they made was Adam's, every decision, every pair of clothing they'd gotten and how fast they had to run. It was Adam's money, his ideas, and Peter was fairly sure that Nathan shouldn't go back to taking his place.

Because that's exactly what had happened. Adam had expounded upon his guilt and abused it and now Peter was right back where he started. But far more shaken up and somehow part of him had been buried and taken away.

Peter knew he had his own room here, though. Just like everyone else. And maybe it'd be better if he just went and got it over with; took advantage of having his own space for the first time in nearly a quarter of a year and tore it apart until he could actually pretend to try and sleep. Because as far as Peter knew, he wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon. He shook his head though, starting to walk with the hope that Nathan would follow.

Glancing over his shoulder, he looked at Nathan insistently. ] You're gonna have to show me how to get there, Nathan. I got lost looking for a kitchen, I don't even know where i'd start trying to find a garden.

Izzie knows.

[ Nathan grinned and reached over to touch his brother on the head, and then they were setting off. The moment they were beyond the kitchen door Peter said. "Izzie, walkies!" And she span in circles and began to go bolting up and down the corridor, leading them along to the elevator door.

To be quite fair, Nathan had been training her to do it in a certain way. He had no intention of getting lost, not knowing the way back to the elevator. Izzie never got lost, she always knew the way back, and so long as you got to an elevator you stood a chance of finding someone else or working out where you were--or that was Nathan's plan anyway. Of course it meant you had to have Izzie with you, and it assumed that the screwed up ship wouldn't get her just as lost if it ever came down to it. ]

We can sit up and play cards, or something. while I get you up to speed on the ship and--well, there's a whole lot about the ship.

[ He set the elevator to take them to the garden and leant against the rail. ]

It'll take about ten minutes. This one takes us all the way along the ship. The Oxygen gardens are right at the back, near Engineering.

[ Oh, Izzie. Despite Peter's inability to digest all of what's going on, she still manages to make him smile -- something he's not sure he's honestly done in a long time. Not that he didn't enjoy his time with Adam, but just the thought that he did know makes his blood curdle. He can't even say how it made him feel anymore, simply because the guilt of it all makes him want to pull his hair out.

Whether or not the shame'll eat him alive over the course of the next few weeks is something that'll remain to be seen.

Following after Nathan, glancing around the halls and trying to take everything in, but only in pieces at a time, Peter steps into the elevator behind Nathan, leaning up against the opposite wall. ]

Engineering? [ Giving Nathan a straight on look, no longer brightly questioning but muted curiosity, Peter guesses that this has something to do with the 'whole lot about the ship.' comment. Or maybe these are jut the basics, the things that everyone gets told their first day here. For the moment, he can't help but reel himself in; now it's just a habit. As much as Adam pulled out of him, now Peter sure he should talk anymore. ]

Engineering. So far as I can tell, a huge portion of the ship - maybe a quarter of it - makes up the ship's engines. It's no jet plane.

[ But Nathan will happily tell Peter all about the shuttles soon enough, even if they're more like cargo planes than Tomcats.

Izzie jumps up. She hates the elevator because it takes so long for her to get somewhere fun. Her paws hit Nathan in the groin, and he reaches down to readjust her, holding her up, into a safer position. ]

Alright, girl. I get it. Pete, distract her with some of those biscuits, will you? Otherwise my baby making days are done.

[ No, Nathan, your baby making days really ought to be done. What do you want. ]

[ There's something about being back around Nathan that sets the world right on its course. Like 'big brothers that act more like a father should' are all Peter needs to remember who he's really supposed to be at the end of the day.

And like the fact that when Nathan says things like that, Peter's instantly reverted back to being fifteen years old, where the thought of Nathan and 'baby making' is practically gag worthy. Sex. Ew. Gross. And he runs a hand over his face, grimacing just slightly because... well, because no. ]

Pretty sure your baby making days were done a few years ago, Nathan, unless you really wanted to be eighty by the time they turned ten. [ Peter pokes at the elevator a little bit more before giving in and shaking the box of biscuits, causing Izzie to use Nathan like a spring, shoving off of him and jumping over to sit at Peter's feet. ]

I actually have to be stuck in here with you for ten whole minutes while we talk about Izzie turning you into a eunuch?

That's right. A whole ten minutes.

[ But Nathan had escaped Izzie's rough paws, and that was fine for now. He grinned at his brother as she came over and sat with her tail swishing, looking up to him with the intense hungriness of a well fed dog who saw food and wanted it no matter what. ]

That's unfair, Pete. No more babies? I'm divorced now, I can marry a girl half my age and settle down and do it all over again if I like.

[ Maybe on some alien planet. Who knew. ]

Remind me to introduce you to Lauren some time.

[ Staring down as he offered another biscuit to Izzie, Peter couldn't help but shake his head slowly, amused but not outright laughing. It wasn't as if the strain of the situation kept him from even grinning, he was just somewhere else for a few moments, watching Izzie crunch before scratching her head. ]

Think i'll pass on meeting your new girlfriend.

[ Glancing toward the elevator doors, Peter dug absently through the box of biscuits, not particularly caring about lavishing Izzie with affection. ]

All you need now is a red convertible. Guess it's convenient that you're up in space, huh, don't have to waste the money. [ He flashes Nathan a look, though Peter has no idea what he's going for. It's likely he just looks shell-shocked while trying his hardest to be sarcastic. ]

[ Nathan actually did snort. It was ridiculous - Peter was ridiculous - but it was the kind of ridiculous well meaning ribbing that he'd missed. He had to resist the urge to reach over and hug his brother again spontaneously. It'd just look weird, and instead Nathan dropped down to a crouch and ruffled Izzie's fur and pushed his face into her neck for a moment. She still only had eyes for Peter.

He stood up a second later and grinned at him. ]

One day, Pete, it'll be you with the screaming four year olds and the need for the open road. Just you wait.

[ Except. Well, Nathan knew better. ]

Pete...

[ He was interrupted by the doors opening, and Izzie zooming away with her tail all a blur. ]

[ Peter couldn't help but roll his eyes at his brother, but thank god for not needing to comment on that particular sentiment. At least not right now. It didn't matter if he wanted to be a dad one day, that wasn't the point. It was just a little much, especially after the thing with Chad - kissing strangers hadn't been on his agenda - and Adam and maybe none of it was meant to be.

Maybe he'd just screw it all up.

And then the elevator doors opened and whatever Nathan was going to say went with Izzie, turning into a black blur as she bolted away. Peter tipped his head slightly, looking before even considering stepping out, then glancing once more at Nathan. Seconds away from asking him any number of other questions, he stayed quiet instead, looking back to the first greenery of the gardens.

Couldn't he just say in the elevator? Did he actually have to try and process all of this at once? It should help that Nathan was so used to it and it did, but shouldn't he be doing something productive instead of wondering if Nathan ever flew anymore? ]

[ Nathan laughed. Izzie knew where she was going. There were things to chase in the gardens, and she wasn't going to get herself into much trouble just throwing herself around chasing things. His mind wandered the same way Peter's did, and he turned back to his brother and studied him for a second.

Seriously. What was he hanging around in there for?

Quietly he stepped back over, his shoulder on the edge of the door. ]

I know it's a lot to take in all at once, but we've done unbelievable before. It wasn't easy then, either. [ He reached out and clutched Peter's shoulder. ]

Come fly with me?

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