[ Sipping quietly on the last of his soup as he listened to Nathan, Peter kept his eyes on his brother over the container, even if Nathan seemed to have no interest in looking at him. Finally settling it back down into his lap quietly, Peter swirled the last of the broth around as he listened, looking apologetic, sad, to blame without really even trying. It helped that he still didn't feel all too well -- the cure made him feel like he had the flu when his body had barely adjusted to being pulled out of the coma.
Waiting for his brother to finish, even when Nathan did, Peter wasn't quite sure what to say. Not when he didn't entirely know what Nathan was getting at. If he wanted to talk about the possibility of Peter's death, or the fact that he didn't like taking help when he should, or that he didn't know how to stop when other peoples lives were in danger. There were so many things to say and all Peter could do for a few seconds, was just try not to cry. ]
You're lucky I felt worse this time around, then. Didn't have anywhere to go. And that I didn't have to explode, made it easier to not get up and want to run away from every-- [ The trying not to cry thing failed only seconds later and Peter couldn't look up anymore, didn't want to know if he'd find Nathan still looking away or staring at him. It was better to stay oblivious. At least for as long as he could. ] From everyone. But most of all, you.
Nathan, if i'd died, i'd have done it with us still hating each other. That's not how it's supposed to be with us. It's not, and I still don't know how to forgive you for what you did, but you're still my big brother. You still raised me, and I'd still rather have it be you sitting next to my bed over anyone else, and yeah, it is nice. To have you here while i'm trying to get the energy to get out of bed. Even though i'm sorry that you had to see me like this, and that you had to find me in the maze, and that I couldn't take care of it by myself. I've always wanted to get the point where I could just do it without your help.
[ Wiping at his nose with the back of his hand before anymore tears could drop, Peter sniffled hard, the pressure from his sinuses making his head feel twice as carved out, throbbing from the inside out. ]
Doesn't matter how mad at you i've been, i've just missed you.
action;
Waiting for his brother to finish, even when Nathan did, Peter wasn't quite sure what to say. Not when he didn't entirely know what Nathan was getting at. If he wanted to talk about the possibility of Peter's death, or the fact that he didn't like taking help when he should, or that he didn't know how to stop when other peoples lives were in danger. There were so many things to say and all Peter could do for a few seconds, was just try not to cry. ]
You're lucky I felt worse this time around, then. Didn't have anywhere to go. And that I didn't have to explode, made it easier to not get up and want to run away from every-- [ The trying not to cry thing failed only seconds later and Peter couldn't look up anymore, didn't want to know if he'd find Nathan still looking away or staring at him. It was better to stay oblivious. At least for as long as he could. ] From everyone. But most of all, you.
Nathan, if i'd died, i'd have done it with us still hating each other. That's not how it's supposed to be with us. It's not, and I still don't know how to forgive you for what you did, but you're still my big brother. You still raised me, and I'd still rather have it be you sitting next to my bed over anyone else, and yeah, it is nice. To have you here while i'm trying to get the energy to get out of bed. Even though i'm sorry that you had to see me like this, and that you had to find me in the maze, and that I couldn't take care of it by myself. I've always wanted to get the point where I could just do it without your help.
[ Wiping at his nose with the back of his hand before anymore tears could drop, Peter sniffled hard, the pressure from his sinuses making his head feel twice as carved out, throbbing from the inside out. ]
Doesn't matter how mad at you i've been, i've just missed you.